I haven’t written about my weight (even in passing) since July. I started eating right (High Fat Low Carbohydrate) in June, and I lost 15 pounds in about 3 weeks. Then in late July I “fell off the wagon” (so to speak), and started eating carbohydrates again. My weight crept slowly back up to my high point on January 29th of 298 pounds. That sounds like a lot, and people are always surprised when I tell them that, but I’ve always had a big frame.
The insurance tables state that for someone of my height (5’ 9”) I should be between 155-176 pounds. I haven’t weighed under 176 since junior high. In high school I ran track, cross country, and played varsity football. I was in the best shape of my life, and I wasn’t “fat.” I weighed between 180-190. If we ignore the Met life tables and move the more modern convention of measuring the “Body Mass Index” (or BMI), then my weight should be less than 169 pounds. I think those numbers are ridiculous, and I refuse to aim at them.
Earlier I said “fell off the wagon” because I truly feel that dealing with overeating carbohydrates/sugar is an addiction that must be broken just like an addiction to alcohol or narcotics. Carbohydrates are a natural substance that I take into my body because I enjoy the chemical reaction that they produce (the taste). That sounds a lot like alcohol or drugs. The only difference is that with an alcoholic, they can avoid going to bars and places where alcohol is served. They can steadfastly refuse to drink at all, and that’s a line they can draw and not cross if they stand firm. However, I cannot do the same with carbohydrates. One does not need alcohol or illicit drugs to live, but one will not live long without food.
I am surrounded by people eating candy, cupcakes, chocolate, Girl Scout cookies, donuts, French toast, and a host of other things that cannot cross my lips if I am to get down to a healthy weight and stay there. I got as close as I ever hope to get to crossing the “300 pound mark,” because if I weighed over 300lbs, well THEN I would be well and truly fat! As if 300 pounds is significantly fatter than 295 pounds, right?
I was in the 290’s for December and January, and knew I needed to make the change, but on January 29th (as I said), I weighed in and saw that I hit 298. I was just a few points away from true obesity (in my mind). I decided that there was no more time to lose: I must change now!
I immediately got rid of all the carbohydrates in my diet that I could. I started eating bacon, ham, sausage, and eggs for breakfast, salad and some kind of meat for lunch, and then green beans and some other kind of meat for supper. The only “cheating” I’ve done since January 29th is popcorn: from the jar, cooked in the microwave and doused with butter and salt. I figure it adds fiber to my diet, and less than 20 carbs, it doesn’t do much harm. I’ve had no chocolate, no refined sugar, and the smallest portion of flour (usually found in the breading on some of the meats that I’ve had to buy from the hospital cafeteria).
I weigh myself every day, and I often get discouraged that the pounds aren’t melting off like butter on a hot day. But I keep telling myself that the pounds ARE melting off. They’re melting off like butter in Canada. This morning I was down to 286, so I’ve lost 12 pounds so far, and I figure that if I lose 2 pounds a week, I will get down to 210 pounds by Missouri hunting season in November. That is how much I weighed when I got married, and I would be happy with that. Meanwhile, I keep plodding along, suffering through with my steak, pork chops, fresh green salads, and loads and loads of bacon. The pull of sugar is getting less the longer I abstain.
I hope to eat sweets again (in small quantities) when I get closer to my target weight, but never again will I eat sugar, bread, and potatoes every day. I titled this post “My Clothes Don’t Fit” because they are too tight. It is my hope and prayer, that at some point later on this year I will be able to type the same title but with a different meaning: because I have lost so much weight that my clothes are too big.