I got three pieces of mail this week that made me laugh.  The first (and least funny) was from Ben and Jerry’s.  As I recently posted, I had two bad experiences with their ice cream.  They sent me a letter which states (in part):

The problem you encountered in that pint of Vanilla Toffee Bar Crunch ice cream suggests that the product was mishandled during the distribution process or at the retail outlet.

In other words, as Lando would say, “It’s not my fault! They told me they fixed it!” They DID include a coupon for a free pint of ice cream, and a coupon for $1 off two pints of ice cream. So that was nice of them.  I’ll use the free coupon, but if, as I suspect, the texture problem is due to their new ingredients, that will be my last pint.

Mail number two was a letter from the power company telling me that if I sign up for their “FixedBill” plan I can have the privilege of paying approximately $320 more for my electricity this year.  No, seriously.  Here’s the chart showing me my options:

Such a deal!!

As you can see, I could keep doing what I’m doing and pay approximately $230 per month (give or take), OR I could pay MORE……    What to do? What to do?

The third and final piece of mail that made me laugh was from AT&T. The outside of the envelope said something about “High Speed Internet” and I wondered, “Is UVerse finally going to be available in my neighborhood?”

Nope.

It is a letter which states, “Enjoy high speed internet!” How fast is this “high speed internet”?  3 mbps.  That’s right, boys and girls. They want me to give up my 50mbps (That’s fifty) connection for 3mbps.  If it had been around 10mbps I would have considered it. But it’s not even 3mbps, it’s “UP TO 3mbps” which means that most times it will be less than 3mbps.  For reference, you NEED a 3mbps connection to use Netflix.

And their price is $15 per month, but it’s only a promotional rate. I’m sure it doubles after the promotional period ends, but that’s not the worst part.  This promotional price only covers 150 GB of data per month.  My current service has NO cap on data.

“High speed.”  Snort.