Let me translate this article for you.
After wasting five decades, scientists announced that they have proved something that Einstein told them existed 100 years ago. A group of people from at least two countries said they spent over a billion dollars to build a machine to test Einstein’s theory. When asked for comment, one of the scientists said, “This is amazing! We spent a ton of time and money listening for these waves, and now that we’ve heard them, we can listen some more! These waves can teach us so much about the universe!” When asked what exactly, he was predictably vague. “All sorts of stuff about things and science!”
The article then gave credence to the discovery by referencing the fact that Einstein’s theory was referenced in two fictional movie series, which are not based on reality.
When asked what practical use humans could have for this discovery, the scientists said, “Well, nothing really, but it’s great that we get to keep spending money looking at stuff!”