At work tonight I saw a mail-order catalog that caught my attention. Across the top it says, “Sunnyland Farms”. They sell food. On the front cover is a dish with two loaves of what look to be pumpkin bread. I picked it up because I thought, “Who buys pumpkin bread??  It’s dead easy to make! Also who garnishes it with leaves flour and several raw pecans?”

Y’all, this catalog is for rich people. It must be. I looked through it, and you know how they inflate prices for fundraisers for the Boy Scouts or school, like a small tin of popcorn for $10 when you know you could get one twice as big for $5 at Wal Mart? If there were popcorn in this catalog, that same tin would cost $80.

I’m not kidding. I was curious how much they are asking for the pumpkin bread. It’s on page 25. Can you guess? No? Go ahead and guess.

You’re wrong. It’s $40.60 for two 12 oz loaves. I have no idea why it’s $40.60 and not $40 or $41. What’s with the extra sixty cents? You know how much the ingredients would cost to make these two loaves? I could go to the store and buy everything I would need to make them including bowls, mixing spoons, the bread pans, etc, and it wouldn’t cost $40.60. Assuming you already have all the regular baking equipment, I’m guessing the ingredients would cost about $6 including the pumpkin. And they’re selling it for $40.60. Or you can buy eight loaves at a time for $35.73 a piece.

But that’s not all. I looked through the rest of the catalog. That was a mistake. I started to get upset that there are actually people out there buying these drastically over priced baked goods. They’re selling a pecan pie for $50.35. There isn’t a pie in the world that’s worth more than $15. What do they do: polish the pecans individually?

I saw one cake that sounded really good. It’s called a “Rum Crunch Cake” and it says, “This light, fine-textured pound cake is crusted with sweet coconut flakes and midget pecan pieces. Drizzled with a rum butter sauce, it is moist and delicious. Keep on hand for unexpected guests.” If I have guests unexpectedly showing up at my house, they’re going to get whatever food I have already. I’m not giving them a piece of my Rum Crunch Cake for which I have (presumably) paid $44.30. I think I’ll pay the extra $10 to have the cake covered with clear acrylic so I can display it.

I think the most shocking price-gouge in the catalog is how much they are charging for nuts. Would you like a 2 pound 4 ounce box of whole almonds? You could purchase it for $14.02 from Wal Mart and take it home with you the same day. Orrrrr, you could pay Sunnyland $42.75 and wait a few weeks to get them.

Today I learned again that I’m not rich. Because I don’t see myself ever paying this much for this stuff.