The Hobbit: Unexpected Stuff

The_Hobbit-_An_Unexpected_Journey_74I won two free movie tickets at work a month ago.  I knew right away what movie I would see (I’ve been waiting for a year for The Hobbit to come out).

First off, let me say that I was impressed with the previews they showed before the feature. The first preview was for “The Lone Ranger” which stars Johnny Depp as Tonto. I will be seeing this one.  The next preview was for the new Star Trek movie.  Check. Then came a movie called “Host” which was kind of sci-fi, and depending on the rating, I might see it (I don’t watch rated R movies as a rule).  Then came “Warm Bodies” which seemed to be a quirky, funny kind of zombie movie, told from the zombie’s perspective as he becomes human again (I think?).  Then the biggest movie (ha!) preview of all: Jack the Giant Slayer.  I’ll probably catch that one from Redbox.   All told, a solid lineup of previews.

On to the review of The Hobbit, and you can consider this your spoiler alert. If you want to see the movie first, don’t read this post until you’ve seen it. Let me start out by saying I’m a huge Tolkien fan.  I read The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings (LOTR)  when I was 11 years old, and several times since. I went to all the LOTR movies when they came out, and I explained all the differences between the movies and the books to my wife (ad nauseum).  My biggest beef:  Frodo wasn’t carried to Rivendell by Arwen, but by Glorfindel. I know they did this to give Liv Tyler a bigger part, but I still don’t like it.

That being said, you’ll understand that any deviation from the book is going to bother me.  The Hobbit was written as a children’s story. From what I remember (I haven’t read it for several years), there isn’t very much fighting going on, and the dwarves usually stumble their way into the situations in which they find themselves. The “movie version” dwarves are hardened warriors with battle skills to rival a Navy Seal.  If you compare these dwarves to Gimli in LOTR, you’ll see the difference very quickly: Gimli is more like how dwarves were portrayed in the books: dangerous, but kind of bumbly too.

Overall I think Peter Jackson did a good job with the translation of the book to the screen, and I understand that he gave himself an “out” by having “Old Bilbo” say at the beginning (to Frodo), “I can honestly say I have told you the truth. I may not have told you all of it.”  And with this comment, Jackson gives himself the right to embellish the story however he wishes.  I wondered how he was going to turn a 320 page book into three 3-hour movies, and now I know.  He added extra details and subplots that weren’t in the original book, and there were far too many battles and swordfights.   One example: in the book, Bilbo got caught by the trolls, and the dwarves were captured by the trolls in small groups when they came to look for Bilbo. They all ended up in sacks, and it was only Gandalf getting them to argue about the best way to cook the dwarves  that saved the day. In the movie there is an extended battle sequence during which the dwarves are flung about, and swords/knives are used by both sides, yet not one injury is inflicted on anyone.  Then it is only when they threaten to kill Bilbo that the dwarves lay down their weapons (Hollywood hostage style….something that never happens in real life).  That’s just one example.

When I watched LOTR, I was swept up in the story, the characters, the scenery, and the music.  The Hobbit has all of those things, but it also has a lot of carnage. It got to where I found myself thinking, “Oh great. Another battle.”  I also caught myself looking at my phone at times wondering how much longer the movie was going to be.

My review in short: the movie was good, but it was too long.  To paraphrase Bilbo himself, the movie felt “thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.”

Will I see the next one? Yes.  But trepidatiously.

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Ban all Crime!

crimeI heard someone say we should get rid of all gun crime.  That sounds like a good idea to me.  But then I thought: why stop with guns?  Let’s get rid of all murders committed with guns, knives, baseball bats, cars, ropes, fire, fists, and every other tool of death up to and including wood chippers.

 

I’m not advocating we get rid of all guns, bats, cars, ropes, lighters, etc.  I’m just saying let’s make laws stating that it is illegal to kill people with these things.  I think we’d have a much better society if we had laws where it was illegal to kill people using any of these means.

bat

While we’re at it, why don’t we just make laws making ALL crime illegal. That should fix the whole situation, right?  Because if the answer to all this crime is more laws, that should solve it. What do you think?

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Mr. Obama: I Have a Question…

"Personal Experience" obtained via John Hinckley Jr.

“Personal Experience” obtained via John Hinckley Jr.

There seem to be at least two sides to the gun control debate.  The first side accepts limitations on guns such as bazookas and howitzers, but thinks assault rifles should be allowed.  The other side thinks all guns are bad and if we could only pass laws strong enough, all gun crime would evaporate.

A friend of mine posted something on Facebook today that got me thinking:  he mentioned how public schools are “gun-free zones” except for when the President goes into a school.  I started to wonder: if the President truly thinks that our schools would be safe if we just passed better laws restricting firearms, then why does he allow his Secret Service detail to carry firearms? I mean, if it’s good enough for our kids to be protected by nothing but laws, then why not him?

I say this tongue-in-cheek, obviously, because the idea of the President of the United States going anywhere without an armed guard is ludicrous.  There are too many wackos out there that would take advantage of the fact that his guards have no guns.  I submit that these wackos are taking advantage of the fact that OTHER people don’t have guns either.  The fact is that if someone in the Sandy Hook school would have had a firearm with them last Friday, there would be far fewer dead right now.

So I have a question, Mr. President: why do you think guns are effective against the people who want to harm you, but they aren’t effective against the people who want to harm our children?  Hmmm?

And for those of you on the “pass better laws” persuasion, I have a question for you too.  Where do you think the line should be drawn?  Are single shot rifles ok? Are any handguns ok? What about rifles that hold more than one cartridge? What about shotguns? These guns are all used in violent crimes as well as the “machine guns” and “assault rifles.” Maybe a better question would go like this:  What would make you think we’ve done all that we can do regarding guns? Would you think we had arrived if we repealed the second amendment and made gun ownership totally illegal? Do you think gun crime would disappear then? I really want to understand your position, but so far it seems like all I hear is “we need to do more” and “there need to be fewer guns.”

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Nothin’ but the Taillights

Not my van, but it looks the same.

Not my van, but it looks the same.

About a week ago I noticed that the right turn signal on my 2007 Dodge Grand Caravan was “clicking fast” when I turned it on.  I remembered from one of my previous cars that this might mean my turn signal bulb needed to be replaced.  I checked them all out, and the rear passenger bulb was burnt.  The auto store only sells them in packs of two, so when I replaced the bulb (a quick fix), I replaced both.

Fast forward to yesterday. My wife informed me that someone had told her our taillights were not working now.  The brake lights work, the turn signals work, but when the lights are on (at night), the taillights are not.  Tonight when I got off work I checked the fuses, and they were fine. So when I got home, I decided I would take the light covers off again and inspect the bulbs.  I took both bulbs out of their sockets and they looked fine. I put them all back in, refastened the light covers, and had Kim turn on the lights.

Guess what. They work now.  It’s the weirdest thing.

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