Joke #1: A young teenage girl was about to finish her first year of college. She considered herself to be a liberal Democrat but her father was a staunch Republican.
One day she was challenging her father on his beliefs and his opposition to taxes and welfare programs. He stopped her and asked her how she was doing in school.
She answered that she had a 4.0 GPA but it was really tough. She had to study all the time, never had time to party. She didn’t have time for a boyfriend and didn’t really have many college friends because of spending all her time studying.
He asked, “How is your friend Mary?” She replied that Mary was barely getting by. She had a 2.0 GPA, never studied, but was very popular on campus. She went to all the parties and often didn’t show up for classes because she was hung over.
Dad then asked his daughter why she didn’t go to the Dean’s office and ask why she couldn’t take 1.0 off her 4.0 and give it to her friend who only had a 2.0. That way they would both have a 3.0 GPA.
The daughter angrily fired back, “That wouldn’t be fair, I worked really hard for mine and Mary has done nothing”.
The father slowly smiled and said, “Welcome to the Republican Party”.
Joke #2: I was talking to a friend’s little girl, and she said she wanted to be
President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, “‘If you were to be the President, what’s the first thing you would do?”
She replied, “I’d give food and houses to all the homeless people.”
“‘Wow – what a worthy goal.” I told her, “You don’t have to wait until
you’re President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the grass, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I’ll pay you $50. Then I’ll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food or a place to live. ”
She thought that over for a few seconds, and asked, “Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?”
And I said, “Welcome to the Republican Party.”
Her folks still aren’t talking to me.