I Scream for Ice Cream

I, like many of you, have a favorite ice cream. Unfortunately, my favorite ice cream doesn’t exist anymore.

My favorite ice cream was Ben and Jerry’s “Vanilla Heath Bar Crunch.” The vanilla ice cream was creamy, and the toffee pieces were varied in size, from small fragments that flavored bites of the ice cream, to large chunks that could be eaten separately. And the toffee was Heath, which is one of my favorite candy bars.

vanilla-heath-bar-crunch

Tyrannosaurus Rex. Dodo. Vanilla Health Bar Crunch.

Last month I noticed that my favorite ice cream had disappeared in my grocery store. I assumed they were just out of stock every time I looked. Then this “Coffee Toffee Bar Crunch” showed up, and I wondered what was going on. Did they replace my favorite with this coffee-flavored ice cream? The answer is no, they did not.

Ben and Jerry’s has always advertised their desire to be natural, wholesome, and not use synthetic or artificial ingredients in their products. I have always supported this because it’s nice to know you’re eating “the real thing.” But evidently their quest to be even more natural than before has led them to only use “certified non-GMO and Fairtrade ingredients” in their products now. I don’t mind this. They can use whatever milk and toffee they want, so long as the taste doesn’t suffer.

It suffered.

I bought a pint of their “Cherry Garcia” two weeks ago, and I thought the ice cream was freezer-burnt. That stinks, when you pay $5 for a pint of ice cream, and it’s freezer burnt. But I bought it at a gas station, so caveat emptor, right? Fast forward to last week, when I saw their replacement flavor for my favorite. It’s called “Vanilla Toffee Bar Crunch.” Evidently Heath bars aren’t “Certified non-GMO” or something. The outside of the containter has a promise from Ben and Jerry that they tried tons of different kinds of non-GMO toffee and found the best kind for their ice cream.

It is not good. Not good at all.

It is not good. Not good at all.

I beg to differ.

The new ice cream is, just like the Cherry Garcia, less creamy to the point of seeming almost freezer-burnt. Also, toffee is supposed to be crunchy. The toffee they picked is soft, even when frozen. It is grainy, and does not taste good. I don’t know what they’ve done to their ice cream except for replacing the Heath with some other toffee, but whatever they’ve done, it’s made the ice cream not taste good.  As a result, I will no longer be buying Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. This should be good for my waistline, but now I’m looking for a new favorite ice cream.

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About Steve Picray

I have been many things, but right now I am a registered nurse attempting to pay off my debt so that, God willing, I can be a pastor again someday. I have a wife and three kids. I am a conservative Christian (of the Baptist variety). This blog is about me: the things that happen to me, the things that interest me, and the things that bother me. If you have a question, just e-mail me at spicray AT gmail DOT com. God Bless!
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3 Responses to I Scream for Ice Cream

  1. You’ve been buying Ben & Jerry’s stuff? Woooo… I never knew you liked supporting ultra-Left wing organizations! With B&J, the ultra-left wing politics has always been more important than the product. (Which is why I never buy anything they make.)

    Enlightenment for you…

    From “Ask.com”
    “Fair trade is an organized social movement whose stated goal is to help producers in developing countries achieve better trading conditions and to promote sustainability. Members of the movement advocate the payment of higher prices to exporters, as well as higher social and environmental standards. The movement focuses in particular on exports from developing countries to developed countries, most notably handicrafts, coffee, cocoa, sugar, tea, bananas, honey, cotton, wine,[1] fresh fruit, chocolate, flowers, and gold.[2] The movement seeks to promote greater equity in international trading partnerships through dialogue, transparency and respect. It promotes sustainable development by offering better trading conditions to, and securing the rights of, marginalized producers and workers in developing countries.[3]”

    And that word “sustainability” up there in the first sentence? That’s a UN buzz word that essentially means “We’re taking over the world and you will do what WE want, the WAY we want you to do it.”

    http://www.ask.com/wiki/Sustainability?qsrc=3044

    So… why does it not surprise that the new MORE politically correct Ben & Jerry’s products are crappy? EVERYTHING that has anything to do with the UN is crappy.

  2. Steve Picray says:

    Yeah, I knew they were liberal, but it’s hard to avoid buying liberal products nowadays. For a bunch of communists and socialists, they sure make good capitalists.

    Anyway, I complained on their Facebook page, and they said “sorry” that I was dissatisfied. They told me to fill out a complaint form and they would send me a certificate for a free pint of their ice cream. So I’m going to try one more pint, and if it has the same weird “freezer-burnt” taste, I’m switching to Haagen Dazs for my premium ice cream needs. 🙂

  3. May I suggest you find a stray dog or a random Liberal and feed a spoon of it to them first, then wait for a bit to see if they suffer any harmful effects… ;-D

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